sweety , i never believed it would hurt so much . times and times again , we tried on , knowing that each time , we failed miserably . every once, the trust is build up again , it shatters immediately . is not you , is not me . its us . maybe we just aint very suitable .

just ask yourself, how many zillion of times had we broke & patch since we started 10 months ago ? i know , i still love you . but many times , i'm trying hard to force myself to forget . why have we gone through so much together but still the trust aint there ? many ppl dun understand what we are going through . many , label our relationship as , 'messy' .

this incident , the holiday thingy , was the greatest blow to me . before you decide to lie your way through , have you thought of all the consequences ? to you , it may mean nothing . its just only a lie , a huge lie . so ? but to me , i force myself to forgive you . seriously , im not sure if i still have the face to go your house and see your family . you told me , nevermind one wad also nothing . LOOK , your whole family lied to me leh . not one day , two day , is weeks ! you enjoy it la ? think i wont find out la ? pls la , when you want to lie , pls clear up all the evidence and do it cleanly . im not stupid ok ? i have brains !

im not sure if i have the guts to face you nad your family . cause each time i see you all , it will remind me of what you all did . i really felt betrayed la . i trusted you all completely , yet , you all chose to lie to me . wadever , doubt you will ever understand how i feel la . just to tell you , i really still love you alot .

but love may means letting go completely. its hard for me i know . but because of you , i will sacrifice . maybe ? ay , im confused la . Though i know i love you , but seriously, this seperation for the time being, for two weeks , i have learn to let go much . distance will make us drift apart .

things may start to change when you return . cause , i will learn to protect myself . but , trust me , i still love you no matter what . this time , it is not your fault , not my fault . its us . lets take it that heaven is trying to make a fool out of us ba . [:

this few weeks , its really hard for me . thanks to ALL MY FRIENDS who was there for me . esp sharmaine . pei me for so many day ! haha . but love , rmb i really still love you . we just see how it goes when you return . i know i care alot for you this few days . worrying every second . but deep in my heart , im learning to forget . i said i forgive you . but have i really forgave ? im not sure . our love is that torturing . all along, i thought love was a happy thing . i was wrong .